Consigli Convivenza

Coinquilini che non vorresti mai avere6 min read

6 September 2018 6 min read
coinquilini da evitare

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Coinquilini che non vorresti mai avere6 min read

Reading Time: 6 minutes

Settembre è il momento della lotteria. Stai cercando casa e preghi Dio di trovarla. Non sai esattamente con chi ti capiterà di abitare. Nonostante molte persone persone non facciano caso a questa cosa e cerchino semplicemente un posto dove stare, i coinquilini con cui si vive sono molto importanti. Anzi, fondamentali.

Puoi vivere in una singola di un attico in pieno centro a 200 euro al mese ma se hai dei coinquilini di merda che odi profondamente non hai quella gran voglia di tornare a casa. Al contrario, se hai una casa di vecchia e brutta ma hai dei coinquilini con cui ti trovi molto bene la situazione cambia radicalmente. Questo articolo mostrerà una lista di tipi umani, nonchè coinquilini che non vorresti mai avere.

piatti sporchi da lavare

I coinquilini che non vorresti mai avere: la lista completa

Siamo animali sociali: abbiamo bisogno di gente che condivida i nostri stessi valori e che pulisca i fottuti piatti senza lasciarli lì ad ammuffire.

Assicurati di conoscere bene i tuoi coinquilini: scambiaci quattro chiacchiere e vedi se potreste andare d’accordo. “Quale Roomy sei?” suggerisce un simpatico quiz per scoprire che tipo di roommate siete tu e i tuoi coinquilini. Così sarai già un passo avanti e potrai prevedere le mosse di chi ti sta intorno.

Se invece sei stato ingenuo, troppo buono o semplicemente un po’ sfigato ti sarai sicuramente imbattuto in uno di questi tipi di coinquilini.

Il puzzone

libro jack il puzzone

Sai che è uscito dalla sua camera quando: prima di tutto inizi a sentire un odore impestante,poi i cani iniziano ad abbaiare, infine i piccioni scappano dal cornicione e finalmente esce dalla stanza.

Più che coinquilino è un’entità, uno spirito che si aggira nella sua nube di odore nauseabondo.

La leggenda narra che, una volta,  uno dei coinquilini della casa abbia provato ad entrare nella sua stanza. Ad ora, però, non è stato riportato nessun avvistamento,lo sfortunato è disperso.

Il puzzone non sa cosa sia la pulizia. Sulla sua scrivania colleziona piatti usati, SOLO di plastica, con tutti i cibi che ha mangiato negli ultimi anni. Per terra ci sono bottiglie di birra, le senti, si spostano quando cammina da una parte all’altra della stanza. Non si lava dai tempi della congiura di Hardrad contro Carlo Magno. Forse quell’evento l’avrà traumatizzato.

Questo tipo di coinquilino non è per tutti: devi avere un naso veramente insensibile e una tolleranza al puzzo a livelli disumani, quasi da escavatoristi nelle discariche. Sappi che se decidi di stare con questo tipo umano non ti aiuteranno neanche le maschere dei lanzichenecchi. Questo coinquilino è solo per Voldemort, Dissennatori e coinquilini tra i più forti e coraggiosi.

L’asociale

eremita che legge

Ti rendi conto che esiste solo perchè paga l’affitto, qualche volta senti persino la porta della sua stanza, accanto alla tua, sbattere. È lui: il coinquilino asociale.

All’ inizio pensi <<mah alla fine non è tanto male>>,  dopo un po’ di tempo, però la sua insofferenza comincia a starti sulle scatole, e non poco.

Finisci per parlare di più con il vicino di casa lamentone a cui non va mai bene niente piuttosto che con lui, anche se vivete sotto lo stesso tetto.

La vera maledizione è avere l’asociale come unico coinquilino. Finiresti come Tom Hanks, a berti una birra sul balconcino con Wilson, a discutere su quali cotolette della Lidl siano le migliori. Non un buon segno ovviamente, anzi piuttosto triste.

Lo scroccone spilorcio

Scrooge del "Fantasma del natale passato"

Un altro tipo di coinquilino: lo spilorcio che vive a scrocco. Ti ruba il cibo, il detersivo per i vestiti e tutto quello su cui può mettere le mani. Applica la regola del “tu casa es mi casa”. L’inverso ovviamente non vale. Se provi a toccare una delle sue cose oppure solo ti avvicini a qualcosa di suo, si scatena l’inferno. Magari ti è finito il latte e ne utilizzi un po’ di quello comprato da lui. Stai pur certo che se ne accorgerà. Qualsiasi cosa è misurata fino al grammo e se qualcosa manca, troverà un modo per farti notare la tua scorrettezza.

Le bollette sono sempre un problema così come tutto ciò che è in comune. Ti farà sempre notare che stai usando troppo qualsiasi cosa, lamentandosi, e precisando come lui, invece, non usi così tanto le cose acquistate insieme. Tutto ciò al contrario non vale ovviamente, se è lo scroccone ad utilizzare gli oggetti in questione, o i vari acquisti comuni che prende liberamente in prestito. Se (gentilmente) puntualizzi tu, poi, le risposte che ti sentirai dire sono “vabbè te l’ho preso un attimo, mica te lo consumo” oppure “oddio quanto avrò preso, varrà al massimo 10 centesimi. Se vuoi te li restituisco”

Il perfettino

Perfettino che taglia il prato con le forbici

Vivere in camera con questo coinquilino è un inferno. Tutto deve essere perfetto. È un ossessivo compulsivo che usa il righello per mettere in ordine i suoi libri sulla scrivania. È la tipica persona che incontri in sala studio,e lo noti mentre sottolinea il libro con evidenziatore e righello perché ogni linea, ogni cosa, ogni azione deve essere perfettamente allineata.

Tutta questa pressione, nel momento in cui decidi di viverci insieme, cade anche su di te. Questo tipo di coinquilino non avrà nessun problema a farti notare che c’è un scaglia epiteliale sulla scrivania. E se l’ordine non raggiunge i suoi standard di perfezione allora nella sua mente regnerà il caos, ti romperai i maroni finchè avrai solo due possibilità: o passerai 3 ore a pulire nell’intento di avvicinarti allo standard di pulizia richiesto; o ti lancerai dalla finestra per la disperazione. Non è finita qui, ti raggiungerà in cortile, non contento, e ti insulterà perché hai calpestato il prato.

Il giocatore incallito

gamer cinese davanti al comuputer

Il gamer è molto simile all’asociale, decisamente più fastidioso… soprattutto se condivide la tua stessa camera.La sua vita coincide con la vita virtuale dei videogames. Nel mondo virtuale è un imperatore, nel mondo reale non sa neanche riscaldare i sofficcini.

Questo tipo di coinquilino ha la sua postazione da gaming su quella che sarebbe la tua scrivania, attrezzata con il suo pc fisso che ha la doppia funzione di computer e termosifone surriscaldandosi nelle estati più calde. Il monitor è come un faro nel buio della notte,brilla di luce propria ed illumina la camera come se fosse Las Vegas. Per non parlare del fastidioso ticchettio dei tasti, lo senti 24/24, senza tregua, diventa quasi un’ossessione, arrivi persino a sognartelo, ammesso che tu riesca ad addormentarti.

Per questo coinquilino giocare di notte è un must, l’obbiettivo è infatti quello di connettersi con i suoi amici gamer sparsi per ogni fuso orario del globo. Stai pur certo che dormire sarà una favola con lui.

Scienziati da tutto il mondo tengono sotto osservazione questo tipo di coinquilino. La sua assenza di sonno è incredibile, non è mai stato visto dormire.

 

Ti è piaciuto l’articolo? Ti piacerebbe leggerne altri? Visita la nostra pagina Roommate su Facebook o il blog RoomMate. Abbiamo anche una pagina Instagram con altri contenuti interessanti tutti da scoprire. Cosa stai aspettando?

Noi di Roommate siamo tutti studenti fuorisede e abbiamo avuto le nostre esperienze, sia belle che brutte, con coinquilini e convivenza. Abbiamo vissuto e viviamo i pro e contro della vita da coinquilini quotidianamente e tra i nostri obbiettivi c’è quello di aiutarti a vivere un’esperienza indimenticabile da godersi al massimo. RoomMate è un’app gratuita che punta a semplificare la convivenza tra coinquilini. Aiutiamo a dividere le spese, ricordiamo quando pagare le bollette e ad organizzarvi con le faccende di casa, e molto altro ancora. Non sei curioso?

Puoi scaricarci a questo link.

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  • มีกลุ่มนักเดิมพัน: กลุ่มนักเดิมพัน ให้คำปรึกษา แชร์ประสบการณ์

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  • ufac4

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  • ufabet

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  • ufabet

    Ufabet เว็บพนันออนไลน์ที่บริการดีเยี่ยม: ทีมงานมืออาชีพ คอยให้บริการตลอด 24 ชั่วโมง ตอบคำถาม แก้ไขปัญหา รวดเร็ว ทันใจ

  • ufabet

    Ufabet เว็บพนันออนไลน์ที่โปร่งใส: ระบบโปร่งใส ตรวจสอบได้ ทุกการเดิมพันเป็นธรรมะ โปร่งใส

  • ufabet

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  • ufabet

    Ufabet เว็บพนันออนไลน์ที่มีระบบฝาก-ถอนรวดเร็ว: ฝาก-ถอนเงินง่าย สะดวก รวดเร็ว รองรับระบบธนาคารชั้นนำ

  • รองรับการเล่นผ่านคอมพิวเตอร์: บาคาร่า รองรับการเล่นผ่านคอมพิวเตอร์ เล่นได้บนทุกเว็บเบราว์เซอร์

  • ระบบเดิมพันขั้นต่ำที่ต่ำ: บาคาร่า กำหนดเดิมพันขั้นต่ำที่ต่ำ เริ่มต้นเพียง 10 บาท เหมาะกับนักเล่นทุนน้อย

  • ufabet

    เล่นกับเพื่อนได้: ชวนเพื่อนมาเล่นด้วยกัน สนุกสนาน x2

  • ufabet

    เล่นได้บนเว็บเบราว์เซอร์: เล่นได้บนเว็บเบราว์เซอร์ ไม่ต้องดาวน์โหลดแอปพลิเคชัน

  • ufabet

    Ufabet เว็บพนันออนไลน์ที่บริการดีเยี่ยม: ทีมงานมืออาชีพ คอยให้บริการตลอด 24 ชั่วโมง ตอบคำถาม แก้ไขปัญหา รวดเร็ว ทันใจ

  • แทงบอล

    Ufabet เว็บพนันออนไลน์ที่มีระบบสล็อตที่หลากหลาย: เกมสล็อตมากมาย เล่นเพลิดเพลิน ลุ้นรางวัลใหญ่

  • ufabet

    เล่นสนุก ลุ้นระทึก: เพลิดเพลินกับเกมเดิมพัน ลุ้นระทึกทุกวินาที

  • ufabet

    เล่นได้อย่างคุ้มค่า: โปรโมชั่นและโบนัสมากมาย คุ้มค่า แน่นอน

  • เล่นได้อย่างมีรางวัล: เล่นเกมเดิมพัน ลุ้นรับรางวัลมากมาย

  • ufabet

    เล่นได้ทุกเกม: เดิมพันได้ทุกเกม ครบทุกค่าย

  • UFA BET

    เล่นได้ทุกเพศทุกวัย: เล่นได้ทุกเพศทุกวัย สนุกสนาน

  • ufabet

    บริการดีเยี่ยม: ทีมงานมืออาชีพ คอยให้บริการตลอด 24 ชั่วโมง

  • ufabet168

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  • ufac4

    มีครบ จบ ในเว็บเดียว: เดิมพันได้หลากหลาย ไม่ว่าจะเป็น แทงบอล คาสิโน สล็อต หวย มวย ไก่ชน ครบจบในเว็บเดียว

  • ufanance

    มีเกมให้เลือกเล่นมากมาย: เกมเดิมพันหลากหลาย ครบทุกค่ายดัง

  • UFABET

    Ufabet เว็บพนันออนไลน์ที่โปร่งใส: ระบบโปร่งใส ตรวจสอบได้ ทุกการเดิมพันเป็นธรรมะ โปร่งใส

  • ufabet911

    Ufabet เว็บพนันออนไลน์ที่ปลอดภัย มั่นใจได้: เว็บไซต์มาตรฐาน ระบบความปลอดภัยสูง ปกป้องข้อมูลส่วนตัว มั่นใจได้ทุกการเดิมพัน

  • ufanance

    เล่นได้อย่างยุติธรรม: เกมเดิมพันทุกเกม เป็นธรรมะ โปร่งใส

  • ufabet

    เล่นได้อย่างยุติธรรม: เกมเดิมพันทุกเกม เป็นธรรมะ โปร่งใส

  • Daftar

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  • แทงบอล

    Ufabet เว็บพนันออนไลน์ที่โปร่งใส: ระบบโปร่งใส ตรวจสอบได้ ทุกการเดิมพันเป็นธรรมะ โปร่งใส

  • เล่นได้โดยไม่ต้องติดตั้งโปรแกรม: เล่นได้โดยไม่ต้องติดตั้งโปรแกรม สะดวก รวดเร็ว

  • ufanance

    เล่นได้อย่างมั่นใจ: เว็บไซต์มาตรฐาน ปลอดภัย มั่นใจได้

  • วัวชน

    มีระบบแนะนำเพื่อน: ชวนเพื่อนมาเล่น รับรางวัลมากมาย

  • แทงหวย24

    Ufabet เว็บพนันออนไลน์ที่เล่นง่าย: รองรับการเล่นผ่านมือถือ เล่นง่าย สะดวก ทุกที่ทุกเวลา เล่นได้ทุกระบบปฏิบัติการ เล่นได้บนทุกอุปกรณ์

  • แทงหวย24

    มีเกมให้เลือกเล่นมากมาย: เกมเดิมพันหลากหลาย ครบทุกค่ายดัง

  • ฝาก-ถอน รวดเร็ว: รองรับการฝาก-ถอน ผ่านทรูวอเลท และธนาคารชั้นนำ สะดวก รวดเร็ว ปลอดภัย

  • เล่นเพื่อความสนุกสนาน: เล่นเพื่อความสนุกสนาน ผ่อนคลาย

  • มีรีวิวจากผู้ใช้จริง: รีวิวจากผู้ใช้จริง น่าเชื่อถือ

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  • มีรีวิวจากผู้ใช้จริง: รีวิวจากผู้ใช้จริง น่าเชื่อถือ

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  • ดูบาสสด

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    Ufabet เว็บพนันออนไลน์ที่คุ้มค่า: โปรโมชั่นและโบนัสมากมาย คุ้มค่า แน่นอน

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  • เล่นได้บนเว็บเบราว์เซอร์: เล่นได้บนเว็บเบราว์เซอร์ ไม่ต้องดาวน์โหลดแอปพลิเคชัน

  • Ufabet911

    มีรีวิวจากผู้ใช้จริง: รีวิวจากผู้ใช้จริง น่าเชื่อถือ

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    ฝาก-ถอน ไม่มีขั้นต่ำ: บางโปรโมชั่น ฝาก-ถอน ไม่มีขั้นต่ำ

  • เล่นได้อย่างมีรางวัล: เล่นเกมเดิมพัน ลุ้นรับรางวัลมากมาย

  • สล็อต

    เล่นได้บนเว็บเบราว์เซอร์: เล่นได้บนเว็บเบราว์เซอร์ ไม่ต้องดาวน์โหลดแอปพลิเคชัน

  • Ufabet เว็บพนันออนไลน์ที่มั่นคง: เว็บไซต์มาตรฐาน ระบบความปลอดภัยสูง มั่นใจได้ทุกการเดิมพัน

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  • วัวชน

    เล่นกับเพื่อนได้: ชวนเพื่อนมาเล่นด้วยกัน สนุกสนาน x2

  • เล่นได้ทุกเพศทุกวัย: เล่นได้ทุกเพศทุกวัย สนุกสนาน

  • ผลบาส

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  • ดูบาสสด

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  • ดูบอลสด

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  • ดูบอลสด

    มีฟีเจอร์สำหรับดูสถิติระหว่างการแข่งขัน

  • ดูบอลสด

    หน้าเว็บใช้งานง่าย สะดวกต่อการค้นหาการถ่ายทอดสด

  • livesport911

    เล่นได้ทุกเพศทุกวัย: เล่นได้ทุกเพศทุกวัย สนุกสนาน

  • Livesport911

    เว็บตรง ไม่ผ่านเอเย่นต์: มั่นใจได้เลยว่าปลอดภัย ไร้กังวล โอนไว จ่ายจริง

  • รื้อบ้าน

    การรื้อถอนโกดังเก่าจะช่วยเพิ่มมูลค่าที่ดินในพื้นที่

  • รื้อบ้าน

    ทีมรื้อถอนต้องใช้เทคนิคพิเศษในการจัดการกับโครงสร้างนี้

  • รื้อถอน

    วิศวกรออกแบบแผนการรื้อถอนที่ไม่ก่อให้เกิดอันตรายกับพื้นที่ข้างเคียง

  • สภาตำบลอนุมัติการรื้อถอนโรงแรมที่ไม่มีผู้ใช้

  • การรื้อถอนโกดังเก่าจะช่วยเพิ่มมูลค่าที่ดินในพื้นที่

  • คนงานเริ่มรื้อถอนหลังคาก่อนเป็นอันดับแรก

  • รื้อถอน

    การรื้อถอนอาคารนี้ใช้เวลามากกว่าที่คาด

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